By doing so, you show your willingness to trust in God. Now you will make an inventory of your life by surveying or summarizing the thoughts, events emotions, and actions of your life and making it as complete as possible. You commit to honesty, and include your own weaknesses, and not anyone elses. It is far too easy to justify your own bad behavior by blaming people or things. This inventory is where you will take responsibility for your past and current actions, even thought this will be painful, and embarrassing and will create a myriad of emotion within you.
This step is the one that most recovering addicts say is a real turning point, because by writing down what is required, they have to face themselves, the self that they created.
It is like looking in the mirror and not really liking what they saw. Because you are facing yourself and your deeds, it is what makes you realize where the true blame lies. This is a step that many would rather skip, but it is vital to recovery. Taking a direct quote from the Addiction recovery guide, it reads, "Addiction crippled our ability to reflect honestly about our lives. It limited our ability to understand the damage and havoc--the liabilities-it caused in all our relationships." This step is difficult and long, but necessary!Through this inventory, you will align your life with the will of God. You will identify negative thoughts, emotions and actions that ruled your life. By discovering those destructive elements in your life, you will take the first step toward correcting them. This inventory step will open doors to additional faith and hope as you continue to seek recovery and overcome addiction.
So what do you do? Rather than write everything down, I would refer you to the Addiction Recovery Guide in page 21 under how to do an inventory. If you don't have a guide book you can find it online athttp://www.providentliving.org/familyservices/AddicitonRecoveryManual_36764000.pdf It is a very personal process and you can speak with others who have done it or follow the suggestions in the guide.
"I invite each one of you to thoughtfully review your life. Have you deviated from the standards that you know will bring you happiness? Is there a dark corner that needs to be cleaned out? Are you now doing things that you know are wrong? Do you fill your mind with unclean thoughts? When it is quiet and you can think clearly, does your conscience tell you to repent? For your peace now and for everlasting happiness, please repent. Open your heart to the Lord and ask Him to help you. You will earn the blessings of forgiveness, peace and the knowledge you have been purified and made whole. Find the courage to ask the Lord for strength to repent now." (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, April 1995, page 103 or in the Ensign, May 1995, page 77)
I love the scripture found in Ether 12:27 which states..."If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." And this can be followed up by the scripture found in John 8: 32 which says...."Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free".
When you take this opportunity to take a deep look at yourself, and who you've become through addiction, you are blessed with an awakening. Your eyes are open much more widely and you can see yourself for who you really are. With your eyes wide open, if you don't like what you see, you have the opportunity to change things. Like the Scripture John says, you will know the truth about yourself, and only then when you can understand truths about your past behaviors, then you can be able to become free from the bonds that have enslaved you through your addiction. I bolded the words "YOU" intentionally so that you could see that your addiction isn't about anyone else, anyone elses choices, problems, things that people have done to you but what you have done to yourself.
With eyes wide open, and through the help of the Lord, you can overcome your addictions, and I know this because I have seen and heard so many stories of recovery while serving as a missionary in the LDS Addiction recovery program. I urge you to find a meeting and go. One participant and family support traveled from one state to our meeting, which was miles and miles, just to find help for their addiction. They did it because it had to be done and they knew it and they found help and hope through attending these addiction recovery meetings. Go to http://providentliving.org/content/list/0,11664,6629-1,00.html and click on "addiction recovery support groups" and locate the closest group to where you live. Then go, and begin the steps toward you own recovery and receive support from those who have been working the program, through the testimonies of the Missionaries, and the facilitator.
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