Before I share with you my comments about this step, I would first like to remind you that if you do not have an Addiction Recovery program study guide, you can go to http://www.providentliving.org/familyservices/AddicitonRecoveryManual_36764000.pdf and read it in English and even print it off. You can get this Program study guide in many other languages as well by going to http://providentliving.org/content/display/0,11666,8517-1-4751-1,00.html
Many years ago, before I even knew about this step or the Addiction Recovery program, I had determined. that I needed to put some past hurt feelings behind me so that I could move on in my own progress in this life. My list was small but the two or three names on that list caused my heart to hurt and feel such an array of emotion that I knew I needed to heal. I couldn’t remember all the details of the situations and hurts, but I did still harbor the same bad feelings toward them. It was amazing to me that I could remember more of the hurtful details of these few past experiences, than the details of the good and positive ones that I have had. This told me that I really needed to put them behind me once and for all and nobody could do this but me.
I pondered and prayed as to how I could best accomplish this. I decided that I should just make a phone call and hopefully the person I needed to talk to would humor me enough to listen. With much fear and trembling and a very humble heart, I made the first call. The person I wanted to speak with actually answered the telephone. I introduced myself to her and with a bit of surprise in her voice, she responded with an “It’s nice to hear from you after all these years.” That small sentence let me know that what I was about to say would be received. Before I knew it, a wealth of tears began to flow and my voice became shaky, as I told her of the bad feelings I had toward her in the past and that I wished to ask her forgiveness for whatever I had done to make her feel toward me the way she did. She responded in kind, and though I felt embarrassed for crying, it was such a huge relief to get those words and feelings out in the open after such a long time. She accepted my apology, and said that she was sorry for whatever she had done to make me feel that way. Our conversation ended quickly but on a positive note. After hanging up the telephone, I felt such a huge relief that I burst into tears again and sobbed. Once I got control of myself, I realized I felt like a new person. I had just lost at least 40 lbs. that I had been carrying around with me for so many years. That burden was lifted, and I felt finally at peace. I wondered why I had waited so long to make that call. I guess it was fear, hurt, anger, and all the other emotions that went along with it. Those were now gone and I could move on.
The Atonement of Jesus Christ can lift the burdens that weigh us so heavily down. Christ paid the price for all of us and we all need to remember this wonderful gift. We need to do our part to make this burdon lifting Atonement happen and that is to
humble ourselves, to admit our wrongs, and make restitution.
There is no need to fear this process of making restitution with others, because either they will forgive you or not, but it will cleanse your soul, and lighten your load. It is worth it and the sooner the better as I have learned. I hope and pray that you too will seek the opportunity to use the Atonement in your life, and be able to really live and be happy again.
2 comments:
Thank you so much for your blog. It has helped my husband and I very much. My husband has struggled with addicitons for many years now (pornography, gambling,lying). He recently started a blog to try and help him self and others with addictions-
www.recoveringfromaddictions.blogspot.com
we are hoping this blog can be a tool for us to help work through these trials and in the process help others who have addictions.
Hello; I was just scanning the internet for helps on addiction + restitution, and arrived here :)
Two things come to mind.
First, I am only speaking for myself, but I do not like being asked for forgiveness. It puts pressure on me, out of the blue, at the other persons time of choosing, ON ME. I know I need to forgive, but I do not need to be asked for it to do it. I have been asked in the past, repeatedly by some (it becoems a pattern)when their feelings dictated so, without much concern for bopping their way into my day and taking me to a place sort of blind sighted. Hope you get my point-that there are tow sides...and i am not saying this is what you ddi. Im just more or less talking out loud, and sharing another perspective, from a person who has spent half my life in an addictive relationship :)
SEcondly, is asking forgiveness to be equated with restitution? I thought they were two separate things.
Restitution, I thought, means restoring what was lost, too. So if there was loss of money, time, character, etc we are to do our best to make things peaceful between us and the other. If we took money, give at least that much back, if not more-to show our comprehension for what we have done. If we took time, perhaps watchign their kids, making a meal-anything to restore the loss of life that person suffered as a direct result of our actions or negligence.
There are just my loose thoughts. I am not black-and-white in any of my thoughts. Just sharing, and looking for ideas, to see if I comprehend correctly how we are to sober up or support others in their recovery. ty for listening :)
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