Step 9 - Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed.

This week the focus is on making restitution to all persons you have harmed. So far, I think this might possibly be the most challenging step of the 12 step program. This means that you contact individuals you have hurt with your addictions or behaviors and let them know how sorry you are about what you did to them, and ask for their forgiveness.

In this past Sunday nights Addiction Recovery meeting, an LCSW from out of State visited the meeting my husband and I were missionaries for. During the sharing portion of the meeting, he described this step in a way that everyone could understand. He said that taking this step is like falling on the gravel and rocks on the round and scraping up your knees really bad. He said that we have two choices... ONE is that we can sit there on the ground, with the rocks in our bleeding and pretty banged up knee feeling sorry for ourselves and let the wound fester until it is infected and much worse and causing us more pain, OR... we could pull out the rocks in our knees, clean up the wound and then watch the healing proceed. In other words, we can either hang on to all of the hurts we have caused for the rest of our lives and let them fester causing ourselves and others long term grief and pain , OR we can repent and clean up (get rid of the rocks and gravel) the mess we have made. We do this through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and all those pieces of gravel that had caused ourselves and others pain, can be made clean, and right again.

I loved this analogy because everyone in the room knew what he was talking about and understood what they needed to do. I share this with you to encourage you to get rid of the hurts that weigh you down and keep you festering. Take the opportunity to make restitution to the Lord, and to those you have harmed in the past. You may not always get the desired outcome, but at least you will have taken the steps to let the healing begin. Your new addiction free life can be the example to those you have made restitution to, that you have really changed and you are no longer the person who desires to hurt others.

The Atonement has made this possible. I coin the phrase from a friend of mine who said to me one day... "The Lord made our shoulders round so that things could roll off of them." If our shoulders were squared, things would just stack up until they weighed ourselves down. They aren't and I urge you to lighten the burdens that you carry buy taking this step today. It will take some time, but once you have made amends to everyone, your burdens will be lighter, and your soul will feel cleansed.

Good advice from the Scriptures & church leaders

"Be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you His, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life." Mosiah 5:15
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"Pray in faith for help. Go to your Father in Heaven. He wants to help you, but because of your agency you need to take the first step. Important lessons will be learned as you are on your knees. Some will distill in your mind and heart as you seek to establish the right balance in your life. Powerful personal development will come through urgent prayer offered in faith from a foundation of righteousness.

When all the challenges pour down on you, you will have a quiet inner feeling of support. You will be prompted to know what to do. You can live in a world of turmoil and great challenge and be at peace. You will be inspired to know what to do and to have the power or capacity to do it. Remember this promise of the Lord as clarified by President Harold B. Lee: “Ye are to be taught from on high. Sanctify yourselves [that is, keep my commandments] and ye shall be endowed with power.” D&C 43:16" Richard G. Scott, “Making the Right Decisions,” Ensign, May 1991, 34
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"Our personal conversion comes as we begin to live the way the Lord wants us to live—steadfast and immovable in keeping all of the commandments, not just those that are convenient. This then becomes a process of refinement as we strive to make each day a little better than the last" ("Righteous Traditions," Cheryl C. Lant, Primary general president Liahona and Ensign, May 2008, 14).
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I love to create and I decided to do a pictorial of the life of Jesus. I call it "The Savior of the World." I wish this was a bigger world so I could be able to fit in the miracles he performed, walking on water, Sermons, and so many other wonderful parts of his life. HE is truly the Savior of the world!

Step 7 Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove all your Short comings.

Sunday evening, we had a great Addiction recovery meeting. We focused on Step 7. In this step, there are some scriptures in Moroni where the Sacrament prayers are found. The Addiction Recovery Program manual suggests that you read through these prayers and personalize them as if they were being said for you. It was interesting that also on Sunday in our Sunday School class, that we discussed these very scriptural references. A point was brought out by the teacher that when we worthily partake of the sacrament, it is as if we are being rebaptized each week as we promise to keep our baptismal covenants. I had never really thought about it that way though I realize that I do renew my baptismal covenants as I partake of the bread and the water.

Partaking of the sacrament for a recovering addict is such a huge step and a blessing. It is something to be taken very seriously as we are repromising Heavenly Father that we will do our very best to stay on track. We should look foreword to partaking the sacrament each week as an affirmation to ourselves, that we promise to stay clean and sober and free from our addictions. It can be a great motivator!

Partaking of the Sacrament is another way besides coming to an Addiction Recovery meeting, and working the program that can help us resist temptation to indulge in our addiction.

I would encourage you to read step 7, study the scriptural references and quotes, and write down your thoughts in the study portion of the ARP manual. When you feel tempted to slip, pull out your book and read what you have written. This journaling will help you to not only see your addiciton for what it is, but to see your progress, and be a motivation to not go backwards.

Are you aware that there is an LDS Addiction Recovery website that you can participate in with others who are in the program? Go to http://www.ldsar.org/

Recognizing the spirit

In our meeting last Sunday as we were teaching the participants about "Changing the heart" I began to have thoughts about what makes a change of heart. I began to think about the fact that when we are able to recognize the spirit in our lives, we can differentiate between the good thoughts that come from the spirit and the bad thoughts that come from Satan. The Spirit would NEVER direct us to do anything that could hurt us in any way. The spirit of the Lord works from the inside... inside our heart, inside our mind and inside our soul. When Satan tempts us he is working on our physical needs. He entices individuals to satisfy their need for drugs, alcohol, tobacco etc. The spirit would never want us to hurt out body or our spirits.



It is important that we place ourselves where we can get promptings from the spirit. In the Addiction Recovery meetings, the Spirit of the Lord is so strong that even those who have never felt the Spirit, can feel something. They may not know what it is that they are feeling, but they know that they are feeling something good that brings them to tears. When we attend our Church meetings, study the scriptures and pray we can't help but invite the spirit of the Lord to be with us. It just feels good to know that you can have the spirit of the Lord as your constant companion, but we have to be ready to receive it.

In one ARP meeting that my husband and I were the missionaries for, a brand new participant came, and in his sharing, he expressed that he felt something at the meeting, that he had not ever felt before. He said it was a feeling that made him feel warm and peaceful. Of course as missionaries, we knew that he was feeling the Spirit, but that spirit of peace and love and warmth was what gave him the strength to stay clean and sober for that following week. Whenever he felt like he wanted to drink, he remembered that feeling in the meeting and was able to resist temptation.

I urge you to find a meeting in your area to help you with your addiction. Attend, and participate, and listen. You will be able to feel what I have been talking about. Feeding the spirit will get you closer to Heavenly Father, and that is what we all need to do in our lives. Have a good, clean and sober week!

This week we are on Step 6

Step 6 - A Change of Heart - Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.

What does it really mean to have a change of heart? I guess if you think about this literally, to change ones heart means that whatever was in it up to the point needs to be gone and something new put in it's place. The step says, that you will replace pride with humility. You resist old patterns of behavior and replace them with an open mind as the spirit suggests a better way of living. The Prophet Ezekiel said in Exekiel 36:26 ( get out your scriptures and mark this one ) " A new heart... will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh.

I love the quote in the Manuel from President Ezra Taft Benson that says, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take the people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people and then they can take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature.... May we be convinced that Jesus is the Christ, choose to follow Him, be changed for Him, captained by Him, consumed in Him, and be born again."

So I go back to the original question... What is a changed heart? I suggest that a change of heart happens to a person who is truly converted and only desires to do the things that the gospel teaches. A changed heart is one that looks to the example of Jesus Christ in how He lived his life, and the changed heart desire to walk in his foot steps.

I think as everyone grows up, and I mean as we mature and get older, we tend to look at things from a different perspective. It isn't so much as to what makes us happy but how we can contribute to the happiness in others. This is exactly the example that Christ gave to us. He was always doing things to help other people. He of course had Godly powers and was able to perform miracles, but as you become willing to be changed by Him, you will learn of His power to heal you.

Once you have a change of heart, you no longer desire to do what you did in the past. It feels so good to feel again and a natural consequence of this change is to the desire to keep this new feeling alive and moving fore ward.

I hope that you can make this change of heart in yourself. I know that you can do it, because you are not alone in this addiction struggle. So many really good people fall prey to addictive behaviors, and ultimately it leads to the desire to change. You can change, just like others. I urge you to attend Addiction Recovery meetings as often as you can, because the others that I have just spoken about are there at the meetings and can help lift you and strengthen you through their own experience in working the steps. Attending your meeting can give you what you need to make the positive changes in your life. Like the little quote says..." There is no time like the present!"

Step 5 Confession

Now this is a step that can cleanse your soul. What a great opportunity to come clean not only with regard to your addiction, but in your whole life. Think about all the times you have felt guilty about your past actions, or deeds. Things that you aren't exactly proud about. Things that you know better than to have done, but you did them anyway, and you have carried them along with you in your conscience throughout your whole life. What would you give to have a clean conscience?

We have such a great opportunity that can cleans our heart and soul. This isn't just for addicts, it is for everyone. Many of you who will be reading this post will have already gone to your bishop for help with your addiction. He probably has directed you to the Addiction Recovery program, so he already knows of your addiction. That should make it easier to go back to him as you take step 5 in this program and confess to him your sins. He is the ONE who has the priesthood keys to listen to your confession and help wipe away your sins from your life once and for all.

One young woman shared with me her experience of going to the Bishop to confess her sins. She said that it was very difficult to get the courage to go to him, because she was sure that he would think she was a bad girl. Still, she went and found the opposite of her fears. She found a kind, loving and very compassionate man, who listened and wept with her as she confessed her sins to him. She said that after she had told him of her sins, he took her by the hand and told her that the Lord had accepted her confession and that her sins were forgiven. She said that it felt like the weight of the world that she had been carrying around with her from sin, was lifted and that she bore that burden no more.

What a marvelous blessing Confession can be in our own lives. Confession can be the step that get you over your addiction. I urge you along with all of the rest of us who have troubles of any kind that are of the nature that need to be brought before the Ecclesiastical authority, to do it now. Stop carrying them around with you, and let your life move on without being drug down by your conscience or hurting heart.

The Lord loves you and wants you to be happy. Confession can cleanse you. There isn't any time like the present to do it, so do it now.

Giving Thanks at Thanksgiving time

Thanksgiving is coming up very soon and it is more than a time to feast. Thanksgiving in essence is a holiday for GIVING THANKS. Might I suggest that this year, you focus your thoughts and actions toward "giving thanks" and away from "giving in" to your addictions. When we focus outward instead of inward, our level of happiness is greatly effected. The last step in the 12 step program is about giving service. Service is the icing on the cake to success for anyone suffering from addiction, as well as struggling with the ailments & trials of life. Once again, I say, "focus outward instead of inward" and think about ways that you can brighten the life of another.

There is a terrific side effect to giving service. When we lose ourselves in the service of others, we forget about our self and our struggles and immerse our thoughts and actions to the point that not only is the receiver happy but we the giver receives a feeling of joy and happiness that cannot come in any other way. It is a great feeling and I hope that you will make the opportunity to feel it for yourself.

One Terriffic Example!

Last evening, a 12 year old young man brought his father to an Addiction Recovery Meeting. Let me clarify, the Dad drove, but it was his son who looked up on the Internet the LDS Addiction recovery Program" in his area and together Father and Son came to the meeting. The son sat by his father during the reading of step 3, which was the step we were focusing on this evening. During the sharing portion of the meeting, I took this charming young man into the next room and visited with him while his father and the other Adults shared about their addictions. Because of the Adult nature of the sharing, children under the age of 17 - 18 do not attend these meetings. I was so impressed with this young man and as we talked while waiting for his father in the next room I could feel a sweet and eager spirit with a tremendous desire to help but most importantly, I could sense his deep love for his father. Imagine, a 12 year old wanting so much for a change and a loving father desiring to change not only for himself, but for his son and family. I think this is more common than we think with addiction. Addiction doesn't just effect the addict, it pours out into the entire family.

My reason for sharing this story is to remind whoever is reading this, that you need to get the courage and strength to make a change now for yourself and for your family. Your addiction effects their lives, and not in a good way. If you love your family, love them enough to put them first before your addiction and get rid of it once and for all. Take the step today. This blog tells how to locate a Meeting near you or to at least download the Addiction Recovery Program Manual. Take the first step and read the introduction in the manual. Don't let addiction dominate your life anymore.

Step 3 Trust in God

Last night, in the Addiction Recovery meeting that my husband and I were the missionaries for, a song came into my mind as the sharing portion of the meeting was going on. The step that was being taught was step 3 " Trust in God." I shared the words of the song... I am a Child of God and I would like to share them with you...

"Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way,
Teach me all that I must do,
To live with Him someday."

I believe that God is in our lives much more than we even realize. As I look around, the touch of His masterful hand, is everywhere. He sends his tender mercies to us right when we need them the most, though many of us fail to recognize them. As I put my trust and faith in his love and mercy, I begin to realize that he is walking beside me on this difficult journey in life. He is there to help me find the way, if I reach out and take His hand. The experiences that I have in this life teach me and mold and shape my character. They also help me to understand that I simply cannot do it alone, and I need to trust that I can call upon Heavenly Father at any time and he will be there to listen.

You and I are children of a loving Heavenly Father and he wants nothing more than to have his children return to live again with him someday. I pray that we all will let down our guard and humble ourselves to submit to the will of the Lord. He is there with His hands outstretched and waiting for us to ask Him for His help because you are His child and he will not turn you away.

Work on trusting the Lord this week and try to recognize the tender mercies that he send into your life. Get out your Addiction Recovery Program manual and write down your thoughts and feelings. Read the scritpures that are in the Study and understaning portion of Step Three, and pray about what you have read, and "He will manifest the truth of it unto you by the power of the Holy Ghost, and by the Power of the Holy Ghost you may learn the truth of all things." Moroni 10:4,5
Have a terriffic week and stay sober. It IS worth it!

SOMETHING NEW FOR YOU TO READ

I just found this... "INDIVIDUALS WITH ADDICTION FIND HOPE AND HELP" Go to:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://newsroom.lds.org/Static%2520Images/Newsroom/photo/med_AV080428_cah005.jpg&imgrefurl=http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/individuals-with-addictions-find-hope-and-help&h=221&w=290&sz=9&hl=en&start=3&usg=__Um5skZrUvgmvQR08jUAUObDY7A4=&tbnid=0_HQ8Ip3AEOINM:&tbnh=88&tbnw=115&prev=/images%3Fq%3DLDS%2BAddiction%2Brecovery%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG

How do you resist the temptation of feeding into your addiction?

Please comment below and let others know what you do to resist giving in to your addiction!

Why did I create this blog?

I have been asked several times in the past few days why I created this blog. My answer is... I belive that if my efforts help just one person, then I will feel that I accomplished what I set forth to do. One of my favorite pictures is Christ holding one little black sheep on his shoulders. Christ taught the importance in seeking out the one lost sheep. So far this blog has helped 4 individuals this past week. I just hope it continues to help more and more. Pass this on to others you think might like to see the blog.. you just never know who needs help.

I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to comment below by clicking on "COMMENTS". If you leave me your email address I will email you back.

Have the courage to change through Christ.

You can start today, or tomorrow or next week on trying to rid yourself of your addiction. It is completely up to you. There isn't anyone holding you back but yourself. God doesn't force you to do anything that you don't really want to do, so it is up to you to make that decision for yourself. One thing I want you to know is that the Lord is there with his arms stretched outward and waiting to wrap them around you because He loves you and wants you back. You have your free agency and He won't take that away, but I am here to tell you that He knows you, your heart and even your soul. You are his child and He is a Loving Father.

Look deep into your heart and soul and then get down on your knees and ask Him for help. He is always there to listen to you, and does hear your voice. He sees your suffering and wants to help if you will give him that chance. Do you realize that He sent His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to earth many hundreds of years ago with the express purpose of Atoning for your sins? ... Yours and everyone else's who has ever lived on this earth. How hard that must have been for Heavenly Father to let Him go, realizing that he would suffer and feel all of the pain and torments you feel but what everyone else has ever felt, and bleed from every pour. Then Jesus would have his life taken from him because "they didn't know what they were doing".

Christ has already paid the ultimate price for you and for me. What a gift... the ultimate gift! Now it is up to you. The gift has been given to you. Are you going to open it up and embrace it and let it heal you? That, once again, is up to you.

I pray you will consider my thoughts and I urge you to go on the Internet and click on http://www.providentliving.org/familyservices/strength/0,12264,2873-1,00.html This will take you directly to the page that LDS Family Services lists the Services that it provides. The 4th one down is the "Addiction Recovery Program". Click on it to open up the Addiction Recovery Program page. You will see that there is a PDF Download on the right that lets you open up and download a copy of the Addiction recovery guide. (These guides are also available to purchase at the LDS bookstores.) Read the Introduction and read about this inspired program.

Next.... Click on "addiction recovery support groups" and that will take you to the page that lists all the Addiction Recovery support groups wherever they are located throughout the world. Click on the area that is closest to you and another page will come up that lists the Addiction Recovery Program meetings in your area with the Days, Times, Location, addresses and specific room that the meetings are held at.

All you have to do now is to pick a meeting and show up. These meetings are for LDS members and Non LDS individuals alike, simply anyone seeking help with their addictions. When you arrive you will find a set of LDS Recovery missionaries, and a facilitator waiting to help you work through the 12 steps and key principles of the program, that will help you with your recovery.

You don't have to come by yourself unless that is what you choose. You can bring family members, or friends who are supportive of your recovery. Because of the nature of addictions and the sharing that will happen in these meetings, you should not bring young children to the meetings with you.

There is no cost to you or others to attend these meetings. If you want to purchase your own spiral bound copy of the Addiction Recovery Guide, instead of printing it off for yourself from the website listed above, you can do so at a meeting for the cost of $5. You will need a manual to bring with you to the meeting and to work through and study and read at home.

I will pray for you and that you will make a choice that can change your life. Once again, nobody is going to force you to do it, you have to make that choice by yourself, but I will testify to you that once you start on your way to recovery, you will find happiness in those things that are real, that mean the most in your life. These are the very things that will eventually lead you back to your Heavenly Father again one day.

I know that this program can help you because I am a missionary in this program, and I have seen the change that happens to individuals who finally become honest with themselves and admit that they need help. I have seen peoples lives change as they put their faith and trust in the Lord and turn their will and life over to God's care and in our Saviors hands.

I have listened to the participants finally have the courage to admit the nature of their wrongs and seek forgiveness of others that their addictions and behaviors have harmed.

I have seen hope re-enter into their eyes, minds and hearts as they discover that God can restore them to complete spiritual health.

I have seen change of heart and healing happen in the relationships of the addict and their families. I have watched tears of joy flow in the eyes of family's put back together by the addicts sincere and humble repentance through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I hope that you will let this change happen in your life. You can do it for yourself or do it for your family, but I urge you for whatever reason, just do it now!