Step 8 - Seeking Forgiveness

Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.

This step focuses on reaching out to and mending relationships with others. It involves a lot of soul searching, courage and prayer in making a list of those who you need to forgive or seek forgiveness from. Prayerfully seek the guidance from Heavenly Father . as He is there for you will help you to be able to accomplish this daunting task.

“By becoming willing to make amends, you benefit from the peace of knowing that Heavenly Father is pleased with your efforts. This step helps you take the actions that enable the Savior to set you free from your past. “ (ARP manual, Step 8, p. 48.)

The Apostle Paul wrote a great discourse on charity. The writings of the prophet Mormon clarify what charity is and how to obtain it. He defined Charity as "the pure love of Christ” and taught that the Father gives it to those who ‘pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart” and to "all who are true followers of his son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:47,48). Charity is a gift that we receive as we learn to follow Jesus Christ and as we love Him with all our hearts, minds and souls. Filled with this pure love from Him and for Him, we find ourselves able to love others as He loved us. We become able to forgive the faults of others and to make amends for our mistakes.

“The nearer we get to our Heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs…. If you would have God have mercy on you, have mercy on one another” (Joseph Smith, in History of the Church, 5:24).

How important is it for us to be able to take this step and learn to forgive? Jesus explained it to Peter in Matthew 18:21-22 "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? “Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: until seventy times seven” Just as Christ told Peter to forgive seventy times seven, we desire the same from others.

A friend of mine shared a thought with me once. She said, “The Lord made our shoulders round so that things could roll off of them instead of square shoulders that would make things stack up and weigh us down.” I testify that as we take the action of forgiving others and ourselves, the heavy load we have been carrying, will be lifted! You will then be able to feel exquisite joy. Compassion and love will enter your heart and soul to replace anger, hurt, hatred, bitterness and sorrow.

“…men are that they might have joy. (2 Nephi 2:25) I pray that through this process of seeking forgiveness, you can find the joy and happiness that was meant for you in this life.

















Charity, The Pure Love of Christ
by Susan Noyes Anderson.

Will our hearts ever know the love
That does not count the loss;
That bows itself beneath our sin
And suffers on the cross;
The kind of love that never fails
No matter what the slight;
That love that fills our minds and hearts
And souls with Christ's pure light?

This love's a gift, but one that can't
Be given or received;
A gift that must be earned and learned
By selfless word and deed.
If we would take the love of Christ
Upon us, we must give
Our hearts and hands and minds to Him
Each day that we might live.

And once we give ourselves to Him
Who is our Elder Brother;
We'll come to know His perfect love
By loving one another.
This gift we seek is charity,
But we must pay the price;
For love that does not count the loss
Comes wrapped in sacrifice.

Step 7 - Humility

The key principle of Step 7 is:

















All 12 steps of the Addiction Recovery Program require humility, but Step 7 specifically requires it. Developing a change of heart in Step 6 should bring us to our knees, humbly asking our Father in Heaven for forgiveness of our sins and for help overcoming our addictions. Our humble prayers should focus on becoming one in heart and mind with Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, realizing that we have no hope of salvation by our own efforts, but only through the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ.
This dramatic change within us will not begin until we allow the Lord to do it. We must surrender our pride and put everything in the Lord’s hands. Many participants in the Addiction Recovery Program come to recovery meetings in desperation, driven by the consequences of their addictions. They are compelled to be humble. The humility described in Step 7, however, has a different motivation – it must be voluntary, the result of our own choice to humble ourselves.

The people of King Benjamin offered the kind of prayer that we must offer in Step 7. They felt peace and joy when the Spirit of the Lord came upon them and gave them a remission of their sins:

“And they viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less that the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.”

And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ…” Mosiah 4:2-3

The peace and joy that came to the people of Mosiah probably will not come instantly as described in these verses from the Book of Mormon, but will require much effort, tears, and suffering – it will require a sufficient period of time to demonstrate to the Lord that we have truly humbled ourselves.

The Addiction Recovery Program is a program of action. Note that the following instructions from King Benjamin are full of actions that must be taken:

“Believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now if you believe all these things see that ye do them…I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come…And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true. And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably.”

Wonderful promises are contained in these scriptures. I testify that our Heavenly Father lives, and that his Son, Jesus Christ lives and desires to bless those who truly humble themselves with His peace and love. He is the Prince of Peace.

Step 6 - Change of Heart

The key principle of Step 6, Change of Heart, is “Become Entirely Ready to Have God Remove all Your Character Weaknesses.”

The addiction recovery program of the Church is spiritual and is a plan of action. If we will follow the principles of the program and allow them to work in our lives, we will find ourselves restored to spiritual health through the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The scriptures are full of references to the heart. The heart is often used interchangeably with the spirit, disposition or character. Just as a strong, healthy heart is critical to our physical well being, a broken, or humble and contrite heart is the condition required for the atonement of Christ to heal and strengthen us spiritually. The Lord desires to bless us with a change of disposition as we turn to him humbly and prayerfully and seek his help to remove those character weaknesses that lead to addiction and sin. Through the prophet Ezekiel, the Lord promised:

“A new heart…will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26

This change of heart is a difficult process, and contrary to the disposition of the “natural man.” However, as you yield your heart to God and grow stronger in humility, the resolve in your heart to not return to past addictive behaviors will become firmer and firmer. You will find yourself wanting to return to fellowship with members of the Church and become a child of God.

The restoration of our spiritual health and change of our hearts may also be described as becoming like a little child. The Lord Jesus Christ loved the little children and, sometimes to the consternation of his impatient and imperfect apostles, took the time to gather them, place them on his knee and love them. He told his disciples and us that unless we become like little children, we cannot enter the Kingdom of God.

“For the natural man is the enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” Mosiah 3:19

I believe this scripture captures the essence of and describes the process of addiction recovery. I testify that as we take upon ourselves the name of Christ and are strengthened by His Spirit, our character weaknesses will be strengthened and the atonement will work in our hearts. My prayer for you echoes that of the Apostle Paul:

“For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth , and length, and depth and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:14-19

Step 5 - Confession

The key principle of Step 5, Confession, is “Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs.”

Step 5 is perhaps one of the most difficult steps to take in the addiction recovery program. It is natural to feel fear and an unwillingness to bear our souls in the confession of sins. However, peace and joy can again come into our lives through this cleansing process and through the “miracle of forgiveness.”

The first step in confession is to confess our sins to our Father in Heaven. In the Doctrine and Covenants we read the following: “I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness.” D&C 64:7

We must always remember that our Heavenly Father lives and is literally the father of our spirits. He loves us unconditionally and knows our name. Confessing our sins to a loving, caring Father in Heaven begins the process of making positive changes in our lives and gives us courage and strength to eventually confess to another person.

We all have a duty to confess our sins to our Heavenly Father; however more serious transgressions must also be confessed to proper priesthood leaders, usually the Bishop. Only the Lord can forgive our sins, but confidential confessing of sins to a priesthood leader plays a critical role in the process of repentance. Our priesthood leaders have been called of God and are blessed with loving discernment and inspiration in counseling with us. Our priesthood leaders usually understand the addiction recovery process, will prayerfully counsel with us, and will respond with understanding and compassion. We must remember to be humble, honest and fully open with our priesthood leaders.

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.” James 5:16

We must use care and wisdom in selecting a person other than our priesthood leaders to share our wrongs. We must not share our sensitive information with individuals we might suspect might extend improper guidance, provide misinformation or have difficulty maintaining confidences.

I testify that through properly and fully confessing our sins, we will receive a greater knowledge of God’s love for us and the love and support of many good people who will rally around us. We can take courage in the following statement of President Spencer W. Kimball,

“Repentance can never come until one has bared his soul and admitted his actions without excuses or rationalizations…Those persons who choose to meet the issue and transform their lives may find repentance the harder road at first, but they will find it the infinitely more desirable path as they taste of its fruits.”

Step 4 - Truth

The key principle of Step 4, Truth, is “Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.” In this step, the addict creates this written inventory of his or her life, summarizing the thoughts, emotions, events and actions of life that led or contributed to addiction. The manual, Addiction Recovery Program: a Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, provides detailed instructions on how to prepare for, organize and construct this moral inventory. The manual outlines four necessary elements of this inventory – writing, honesty, support and prayer.

The thought of writing a detailed, searching and fearless inventory of ourselves is overwhelming. Completing the inventory will take time, but there is no need to rush through it. In listening to the sharing of recovering addicts who have completed this step, two things are very clear:

1. The written inventory will take a very substantial amount of time and will be difficult.
2. The completed moral inventory was the key to addiction recovery and served to lift the burden of years of damaging behavior and relationships.

Addiction clouds one’s ability to search within and honestly reflect about his or her life. Before the addict can rely on the Savior for help in overcoming addiction, a framework is needed to allow Him to help sort out the past honestly. A written moral inventory provides this framework.

As we prayerfully and honestly open our hearts and put our feelings in writing, we will find that the Holy Ghost will be with us to “bring all things to our remembrance”. To quote the manual, “When you prayerfully write about your life, you give the Holy Ghost an opportunity to help you see and understand the potential lessons that come from each of your experiences.”

After years of damaging behavior, Alma the Younger was forced to do a searching moral inventory of his past sins and relationships:

“I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.” Alma 36:13

Remembering our sins, weaknesses and imperfections and prayerfully writing them down is a painful but necessary process. However, as with Alma the Younger, this difficult process can propel us into a new life of peace and happiness. It took a miracle to turn Alma’s life around. Miracles have not ceased, and miracles can work in our lives to help us overcome addiction, sin and transgression.

I testify that as you commit the significant time required to truthfully write about your past, your damaging behavior and relationships, thoughts, actions and places that contributed to your addiction, little by little, the windows to your heart and spirit will open and light will enter.

“Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:22

Step 3 - Trust in God

Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

The program of addiction recovery and healing is spiritual, but it is also a program of action. If you follow the steps and principles in the manual, Addiction Recovery Program: a Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, you will find yourself being restored to spiritual health through a newfound relationship with the Lord. In addition, a change of heart will come through daily reading of the scriptures, particularly the Book of Mormon, scriptures from which are frequently quoted in the manual.

Those that have successfully recovered from addiction testify that recovery was more the result of the Lord’s efforts than their own. The Lord will work the miracle, but we must invite him into our lives. The Lord will never take away our free agency, but we must make the decision to allow God to heal and recover us. In other words, changing our lives and overcoming addiction must be our choice, and not the choice of our parents, our spouses, our family or friends.

The key principle of Step 3, Trust in God, is “Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.” This action step is summarized in the Book of Mormon.

“…and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God.” Alma 5:13

In the third chapter of Helaman, the Book of Mormon describes a people who were strengthened through humility and by yielding their hearts to God.

“Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.” Helaman 3:35 – italics added.

It is my testimony that fasting and praying will strengthen our ability to yield our hearts to God and abstain from addiction. In the moment of temptation, prayer will strengthen our humility and faith in Christ. We must be willing to yield our hearts to God instead of yielding to addiction in the moment of temptation.

To humble ourselves is a decision that we must make. Satan will try to get addicts to believe that although God has helped others, He will not help them because they are helpless and hopeless. Recognize that this is a lie, and always remember that you are a child of God.

“He did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him.” Mosiah 29:20

Step 3 is a choice. I testify that recovery from addiction happens by God’s power, but only after you choose to seek his help.

Step 2 - Hope

Alma 32:37 "...if ye nourish it with much care, it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit."

Addicts must eventually come to the realization that they are powerless over their addictions. Unfortunately, this realization often is accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness – that either God was too disappointed to help or that all avenues of help had been exhausted.

The key principle of Step 2 – Hope is to “come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.” Those suffering from addiction must be presented with an answer that they never considered or have discarded – turn to God and find hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

In Alma Chapter 32, Alma teaches us that to begin to have hope, or to exercise faith, we need only have a sincere desire and believe enough to give place to the word. He uses “word” to mean the word of God or the beauty of His gospel of redemption and atonement and compares the word to a seed. We are all God’s children, regardless of our circumstances. His light illuminates every soul. His spirit invites all to come unto Him and enjoy the blessings of the gospel. As the word of God takes root in an addict’s heart, it can begin to grow until it fills that heart with redemptive love.

In answering the questions of the people concerning what to do because they were “afflicted and cast out”, Alma comforted them with these words:

“But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.” Alma 32:27

Just as a seed takes time to swell, sprout and emerges as a living plant, we must have patience and allow the word of God to grow in our heart and nourish its progress through faith and prayer. We must be sure our heart is right, humble and filled with hope in the atonement of Christ, so that we can nurture the word.

It is my testimony that recovery from addiction or overcoming difficulties in our lives must begin simply with planting a seed of hope, exercising “a particle of faith.” That seed of hope can be planted in the heart of the addict through a kind word or deed, beautiful, uplifting music, a passage of scripture, an expression of love and support, and the bearing of our testimony in a loving, forgiving Savior who suffered all that we might be forgiven of our sins and redeemed from our weaknesses and addictions.